


Escape | Chapter 1 David Schreibner’s Story

by Anonymous



Series: David Schreibner's Story [1]
Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: David POV, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Drug/Alcohol Use, M/M, Mild Language, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-10-04 14:24:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20472509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: All of David's life, he found himself lost, confused and always ready to run away and hide. His parents decided for him to move in with his sister. David grows tired and find's his means of escaping by starting fresh at his new school, holding his secret close this time around.





	1. New Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Contains Drug/Alcohol use, Mature Language and Mentions of Transphobia and Body Dysmorphia.

** _Monday (25th of February)_ **   
** _*** 08:01 ***_ **

_'No one will have to know' _David thinks to himself moments before stepping into his new school. David has been attending Barnim High School for 3 weeks, having to start a new beginning. Along with his 'new kid' status, no one knows his name. Everyone sees him as the mysterious kid that has a tendency to keep to himself and doesn't talk for whatever reason; honestly, David doesn't mind being lonely for his final year of Abitur at least he can survive without repeating the same torment that happened at his old school.

_'No one will have to know' _he repeats to himself again, slowly inching towards the gates. He hears silent whispers of people branding him as they have been for the weeks David has been here; "_the mute and the new kid "_ to name a few, although he'd rather those nicknames that what his old peers called him.

"David!" Someone snaps his attention, it's Lulu, she's the girl who showed him around the school on his first day, she was quite friendly, but he doesn't seem to have anything in common with her. "Do you have notes from German? I left them at home, and I have to use them to complete my presentation" David shook his head and wondered how she even made it to Abitur, she was never organised and was always asking classmates to borrow something. How she was also asked to show him around the school when it felt like she hardly knew the place —must have been forced into it by the principal.

David watches as Lulu trails back to her group of friends. He remembers the first day he sat with Lulu and her friends, they were all very kind and welcoming, and tried his best to stay in their conversations but didn't want to get to close to anyone, he just needed to survive his final year.

David walked up to his locker putting in his homework he had to hand in 1 week ago for Biology, he also had to try and catch up on his German presentation; David honestly feels bad for judging Lulu for always being behind in school, when he has put himself into bad habits lately. David was usually so good when it came to school; he was hardly ever behind in his work, especially when it came to the theatre and art departments. David always felt at home both on stage and off; he was particularly fond of directing and stage managing. When it came to art class, he could put in his music if the teacher allowed and drew or painted whatever type of inspiration he could find that day. Now, however, David hardly can find any inspiration; his inspiration as turned darker and colour has faded from his creations. 

Trailing into his first-class for the day German, the teacher is already sitting at the desk and nods her head Davids' direction as he was always early to classes "You ready for your presentation on Friday?" David shrugged his shoulders looking down at his textbook trying to catch up on his notes from last week "You know that your grade is also dependent on class participation as well as your theory, don't be afraid to speak up David!" Mrs Wagner proclaimed, David has heard this from almost all his teachers; although Mrs Wagner had a friendlier tone in her voice than other teachers, they'd use his lack of participation as a threat to fail him.

The other students began to file into class, Lulu and her friends Ellie and Leo sat around him and smiled his way before continuing their conversation that David felt intrigued to join, but the teacher silenced them to begin class. David spent most his time in class catching up on past notes while trying to keep up with what is currently going on, Ellie helped by flashing her notebook towards him when he looked confused or lost. Lulu was gathering her presentation, looking nervous and in need of a pep-talk.

As Lulu's presentation came to a close, the bell rang signalling the end of class and David felt proud of her presentation although the lack of organisation she had. "Well I shall get prepared for the next class, I'll see you later in Biology Leo" David rushed out of class placing his headset back over his ears, he heard the group of friends say their farewells and watched as they joined their other friends. David longed to join them, but that voice in his head always pulled him away.

***** 14:45 *****

The final school bell rang. David gathered himself, placing his headset back over his ears and rushes to the bike racks. From a distance, he saw a boy he has never seen around school standing with another boy he has in one of his classes. David waited for the crowd around the bikes to disapparate, the group of boys left David was paying a little more attention to the blonde with the messy hair as his lit up a smoke and trailed behind his friends head hung low, for a moment remembered those moments with his old friends.

David approached his house, tossed his bike in the bushes. David stood at his front door for a moment hearing his sister's radio playing softy. David felt relief sweep over him to finally be home, although this place was nothing like where he used to live with his parents, he enjoyed the quietness, and it felt more homely than when he was living in Hamburg with his parents.

"Hello!" his sister called from the living room, David replied and slumped on the couch across from his sister Laura.

Laura was four years older than David; she was his best friend/support system the only person he could trust with all his life. She was the very first person he told about being Trans, that very same day Laura spent her entire day with David on her bed reading about information and finding out about places David could get the support he needed. David was so thankful to have such an understanding, trusting and protective sister.

***** Flashback *****

_—"I'm not a girl Laura, I've never been" David lets out for the very first time, much time he spent looking in the mirror saying the same thing in the mirror when no one was around; he would look at his body with disgust as his body was changing he started to feel less and less of himself and more like his head and mind was attached to the wrong body._

_"What are you saying?" Laura could see her puzzled face, he knew he could easily talk to her, she understood being 17 she had to understand but why was he struggling to find words to explain._

_"I'm Trans, I'm not the person that everyone sees me as, I... I'm a boy my... my birth name isn't mine, I don't know what my name is but it certainly isn't what it is now, it's a... a girls name and I can't just be pretending anymore" David just let it out sinking further waiting for that moment where Laura the only person in his life that has been there from the very beginning, would walk away._

_"My brother, you always have been and always will be; nothing will change that; plus I always wanted a brother, when mum told me that she was having a girl I didn't want to believe it" Laura smiled her kind and honest smile and continued "Can I tell you something! Not to take away the attention, but, I always loved the name, David, my best friend at kindergarten had a little baby brother named David and when mum told me she was having a baby I always said my baby brother David"_

_"I... Laura" David had tears streaming down his eyes, Laura wrapped his arms around him holding him close._

_"I know! Know this, from now on I want you to feel that you don't have to play a game of run and hide, you're never alone" Laura whispers holding him closer.—_

*****************

"How was your day?" Laura asked. 

David could feel his shoulders about to shrug, but he knows Laura wouldn't accept that as answer; "it was ok, got all caught up on my work I've been putting off, but other than that, keeping everything low profile" Laura sighed worried, but doesn't want to put any pressure he's already under.

Laura was searching for David's eyes in which he tried his best not to face but Laura kept searching "David this is your last year, you need to make it last this is you clean slate don't hold yourself back because of your past." He knew she was right but what can he say, he can't what happened in his other school to happen again. Why did he have to have a sister that not only knew him so well but also be a Counsellor!

"Look I know Laura, but I have you and your friends know about me and they accept me_—_" before he could continue Laura stopped him.

"David those are my friends, and yes they love you but they are 4-6 years older than you, the world isn't full of bad people just put yourself out there more; don't be scared to at least make your last year special with doing things you love"

"Laura you're doing that thing again" He'd rather have sister Laura right now then Counsellor Laura.

Laura sighed "I'm sorry" she felt bad so did David. Everything then fell silent

"Can we just get some take out?" David let out, defusing the silence, it's was almost 18:00, and they still haven't moved from their spots since coming home from school.

"How about Pizza and a movie?" Laura got out her phone. David didn't even need to respond as he knew it was a plan as soon as she said 'pizza'. They settled on watching Kings of Summer.

When the Pizza arrives Laura started picking out the olives watching in disgust as David piled her discarded olives on top. David did the same and picked out the mushrooms out his own slice and watched as Laura mimicked David and placed the mushrooms on her Pizza. "Are you 100% sure that we are related" Laura laughed out loud

The rest of the night was relaxed as the movie ended, Laura cleaned up the pizza and got her Uni workload out and retreated to her room. David did the same grabbing his work and studied in his own room.


	2. Falling Behind

**Wednesday (27th of February)**   
***** 02:05 *****

That night couldn't sleep; he had woken to a nightmare that is so repetitive that it almost felt real at this point. He began to reflect on his dream.

_'He's standing in the middle of Barnim High, his classmates finding out his secret, he sees everyone's eyes on him ripping his skin off layer by layer'. _David looks over his phone its 2 am; he feels exposed as memories of his past flood back, he doesn't want to repeat this feeling from his classmates again. The memory of him coming out to his ex-best-friend being most evident in his mind, the memory that started it all.

***** Flashback *****

_—David sits on the grass, playing with his phone nervously waiting and watching for his best friend to finish his final class for the day. "Hey buddy, are we heading to mine for a drag? I need to get high before this weekend" Frederick came from behind patting his back looking so done with the day. "I... ahh... can't, aren't you going to Emilia's?" David doesn't understand his relationship with Emilia anymore, one moment they are together next they are not; " Nah dude I'm finally done with her, she'd rather focus on Abitur" David hangs his head low again, the conservative halting for a long moment._

_"So you wanted to catch up after school, yet you can't get high anymore. Seriously what's up with you, you're acting like you're hiding something" Frederick stated._

_David took a deep breath "I don't really smoke, I only do it around you" he stalled what he wanted to say but was still being truthful, he has nothing against it but only ever does it to feel normal. " well buddy I better go, don't want you to kill my mood for this weekends party, you coming?" David nodded his head hesitantly and sadly looked down at his feet, was he being that much of a mood killer lately._

_Frederick started to walk off, David yelled for his best friends 'it's now, or never he's your best friend, he supported you through so much'. "Freddy, I need to tell you something... something I've been hiding from you" Frederick turned around "you weren't fucking Emilia?" David stood still, "what? No? I couldn't do that to a friend that's not me, and knowing Emilia, she's not that type of girl" David was trying to dig out of his hole now._

_'Just say it, 5 seconds of bravery it's all it takes, the rest is up to his interpretation and whether you will have to walk away, or he will understand' David's final thoughts of what his therapist said: "When I moved here, I wasn't the same person I was!" David looked into his best friends eyes "I wasn't always the guy you know now, I'm... I was born in the body of someone else, and now I'm who I am now" Frederick looked puzzled "dude what the fuck are you saying?" David breathed in holding his breath '5 seconds of bravery' "I'm transgender!"_

_Then his world froze, and so did Frederick "So you are..." David shook his head "shit dude sorry". David waited for him to say something else anything else he didn't speak till Frederick began to finally finish "look I might need some time to come around, I think it's best if you don't come to the party, I'll call you Monday" David nodded his head._

_When he watched Frederick walk away, he felt this gut feeling his stomach that something wasn't okay, but no, this is his best friend he needs time.—_

*****************

At this point, David felt his eyes wet. David got out of bed and got his sketchbook; there was no way David was going to be able to sleep. Began to draw his isolation using the paper as a way to vent.

David woke up 7 hours later, falling asleep on his desk, his head throbbing and neck aching. He heard light singing and the radio playing outside of his room, Laura doing her usual routine of cooking while listening to the radio. When David first moved into Laura's place, he was bothered by his sister being a morning person and playing music; but it was never loud, just enough to wake David up from his light sleep. Eventually, David started to smile with his sisters morning schedule; it made him feel at home finally.

David groaned as he sat up, rubbing his sore neck 'don't sleep at your desk' David noted to himself as he got dressed and walked into the kitchen.

"Why hello, do you have class this morning?" Laura asked with concern in her voice.

David sighed in defeat "I do, but I'm already late as it is and missed the bus, what's for breakfast?" David tried his hardest to change the subject.

David knew it failed as she snapped her eye to his direction "Eggs, you're not getting any though cause you need to go to school" she was quick to snap back into cooking.

Davids quipped "and let me go to school hungry?" Trying to tease Laura again but she was not having it and just pushed her already cooked toast into his hands.

"You're taking this and go before you miss the bus again, I'll call your teacher and tell her that you're going to be running late, you get off easy this time Mr Schreibner." David tried to argue but was being forced out of the door, Laura grabbing his bag and art journal as he struggled to put shoes on the right feet.

***** 08:45 *** **

Once again, the school day was like any other. David would be catching up on notes while trying to remain focused on his morning lectures, he did his best at staying in the background while others walked around with their friends.

David had 2nd period off David found his peace outside, sitting at the benches drawing away, he watched as birds flew from tree to tree as inspiration struck he began doodling with his pen.

While walking to his locker David walked past the bulletin boards in the hall and saw announcements for upcoming events. David thought back to when Laura told him about joining some type of extracurricular, the school principal even stated that she can enrol him into any classes that have availabilities for extra credits he needed to graduate. The one class David wanted to do was completely full, so he didn't see any point, although he took an interest in one class being Advanced PE, David was really good at sport playing football when he was a kid and then did track at his old school until he was outed.

Before the 3rd period started David was standing in front of the Principles office talking to the receptionist if she was available. "Ahh David, you wanted to speak? Come on in"

David sat in the chair the was in front of the desk, the area was quite barren with just bookshelves full of folders and filing cabinets. "So what do you wish to talk about, we've got only a few minutes before class" David snapped out of his examination of the room and tried to place his train of thought.

"I saw that advanced PE had spots open and was hoping that I could possibly join if it's not too late, I know you told me to do all this 2 weeks ago but..." David faltered to finish his speech and just ended looking towards the floor.

"Well I am sure we can do that, I'll speak to Mr Neuhaus and we can have you signed up within a week or two" David felt a sigh of relief that he didn't make a complete fool of himself in front of the Principal. "Well you should go off to class, see you, David, your teachers have been very impressed so far but don't be afraid to partake more, we don't want you to be falling behind" and there it was another jab of 'participate more or fail'.

*****************

Maths class was a class David wasn't the best at but he did have an idea of what's going on. Usually, he arrives at class early and notices other students have the same idea to get some exam study done. "Hey, dude do you have exam notes?" David looked up and saw the guy from Monday with his blonde messy-haired friend.

"Ahhh yeah, I don't think they'll help much" he handed brunette his notes, god he wished he could remember his name, Jonah who knows!

With his earphones in, he continued his work in silence, 'shit!' he mumbled to himself, maybe he does till need those notes after all. David got back up "do you still need that?" He asked the boy that borrowed his work from earlier who was now sitting with a girl with red hair.

When the teacher finally strolled in looking quite shocked to see so many students' early in class. "Well, I can see that you're all busy there, please everyone goes to their seats and David!" David jumped when he heard his name; he turned and looked at the teacher to see his very opposed look, "please take your music out of your ears." All the students were now looking at him and he knew right then that this lesson was going to be a long one.

As expected class dragged on with the teacher keeping a close eye on David and finally confirmed his suspicions towards the brunettes name, Jonas, he got called out by the teacher for talking with the girl, Hanna.

Davids day finally ended, standing at the bus stop he feels a buzz in his pocket.

_Laura-_   
_I won't be home tonight, I've got a date ;) hopefully, it goes well so wish me luck! I've left some leftovers in the fridge so you don't burn the house down like last time._

_David-_   
_Good luck with your date. Also, it wasn't that bad it was just some burnt toast._

David felt relief that he could have the house to himself, although he gets lonely at least he can spend most his time lounging and drawing.

***** 15:06 *****

Once David got home he got his bike from its hiding spot and rode his bike to nowhere, in particular, feeling the cold air against his face, he finally feeling freedom wash over him. This was something of a routine when he wanted to run away for some time, even if it is just for a short while finding means to escape to a place where being alone is a beautiful bliss, where he can take his binder off and not have dysphoria wash over him because he is totally isolated from the world.

Many places David has found on his adventures alone. _—One time is when he took a train 1 hour out of Berlin, that day David needed to escape with the feeling of never wanting to return._ Some days thoughts of taking someone he loves and someone who loves him back wholeheartedly. But these moments may not come, he just has to accept that it may just be him and Laura.

This evening David found himself a few miles from home, time passing by without a realisation. He hopped off his bike settling himself down on a park bench headphones in his ear forgetting about the world. The hours passed and the evening grew darker as David sat and drawing the birds that he saw. David was there for what felt like a few small moments, turned into a few hours looking at up and seeing the sun disappear. David got on his bike once again and rode the nearest bus stop towards home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3 will be added possibly next week, thank you for all and Kudos are much appreciated!


	3. Family Matters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took a lot longer to post! I spent many times rewriting! This contains heavy transphobia.

**Saturday (2nd of March)**

***** 07:08 *****

'The weekend couldn't come any faster' David thought as he woke up checking his phone, remembering his long week that was finally behind him. His German presentation went okay, although he did choke up a couple of times, although, his teacher seemed very supportive and positive when everything was over. At the end of class, the teacher went over everything he would need to be completed for the upcoming exams that were only a few weeks away. The bell rang signalling the end of the day, David left class that day feeling tired.

Although the weekend finally arrived, he didn't feel any motivation to get out of bed knowing what soon awaits. His family were coming to visit for two days, while they are visiting Berlin to see friends. They thought they should not forget about their children who live in Berlin and called Laura very last minute that they are coming around for the day. David thought it best if they just forgot about them and didn't come at all.

Things were slowly getting better with some of his family, but every time his parents tried to keep contact, things got worse at a rapid speed, over the phone, they would play this game of acceptance, but once they are confronted with it, tension boils, and David wants to run. With his godmother things at first where uncomfortable, but slowly she came to understand and welcomed David to her home whenever he needed a place.

"David!" He hears his sister called, David rubs his eyes still feeling the need to go back to sleep. He hears footsteps come closer to his door and then a knock "David, they'll be here in two hours, I need you to help" from the tone of Laura's voice he could tell she wasn't going to enjoy this weekend as well.

"We've got two hours; it's seven in the morning please let me sleep" He moans at his closed-door but gets out of bed anyway.

The door opens as David is trying to find his clothes. "Not happening, oh you're up sorry."

"Fuck, Laura, knock!" David jumped; he didn't expect Laura to come bursting in.

"I did knock, get dressed, I've made you breakfast, and I'll start the coffee" David sighed and nodded to Laura with a sleepy half-smile.

When David was dressed, he made his way to the kitchen to the smell of eggs and toast –that wasn't burnt–. "What's our plan today and in the next two hours is it ok for me to leave" David tried to play off his joke, but he and Laura knew that it wasn't.

Laura still played along with the joke and laughed empathically "Well just making it look like we've not been living in chaos for the last few months" Laura look at the house with everything having a place but not necessarily organised, "but, I'd say we just need about 30min and before you say that I've woken you up earlier than required; we need to set up some game plan"

David loved his sister, knowing that the last time their parents visited was when David moved in and it didn't go over smoothly.

Everything turned out well –cleaning wise– and was finished within an hour. Laura made some more coffee for them both and sat in the lounge with the TV on for background noise. "How long are they over, because I can't deal with another week-long trip like last time."

"Only the day, so they'll be heading to Paul and Joannah's tonight" He saw in Laura's eyes how hard it was for David last time, knowing full well their fake front.

"I was thinking maybe we go out for lunch and when they arrive" David agreed to Lunch out because he knows they wouldn't make a spectacle in public –keeping their perfect family image alive.

Laura had changed the subject once sorting out everything and their plans. Then looked over at the time and knew that the moment had come, 'time seems to fly by" David thought, wanting to bask in this little moment when they heard a knock at the door.

David took a deep breath and Laura patted him on the knee getting up and going to greet their parents at the door. He heard a warm welcome coming from his mother's voice while his dad was his low energy self.

The footsteps came closer and closer; David stood up and froze in his spot. "David, hello" His mum greeted not as warmly but again faking it; his father looks awkward not knowing if to hug his son or shake his hand, David just stood there with his hands in his pockets.

Laura clears her throat "Well, I know it's late, but I've booked a reservation for a late lunch at 4 pm."

From the moment he set eyes on his mother David imagined this game in his head –a game David grew accustomed to playing when he was with his parents;– he numbers how many times they peeved him off or made some fake conversation. Strike 1 is when she entered his home.

"So Laura, hows Uni going?" His mother asked, he could hear his dad cough and noticed him directing his gaze towards David "-oh and you're all most off to Uni, how's your Abiture going? Still got big dreams as a Movie Star?"

"Ahhh" was all David could muster.

Laura tried to take their attention (bless her). "My Uni is doing okay, I've got 1 more year left, the workload is a pain right now, but David and I have study sessions together; just for some boring Brother Sister bonding" he swears he sees both his parent flinch at the mention of 'brother' but he tries his best to ignore them.

"Well, that's great, Laura" she beams happily to Laura "and what about you?"

David snaps up "I ah, don't really wanna be a movie star, I want to make films" he corrects "Abi is okay, I'm hopefully doing Advanced PE" he is trying his best to be involved, this is really the first time in the longest time where his parent play along and humour him –feels almost... average–.

"Well then" his mother ends with that, and with all that normalcy gone

One long hour drags on, his father trying his best with talking about stereotypical conversations you have with your boys. His mother was talking to Laura (always the favourite –he was never jealous of Laura, most the time Laura was humouring her).

They headed to the lounge, while David makes his exit into his room, just needing to find some way he can survive this day. David sits at his desk, pencil in hand and escapes the confines of his parents.

There's a knock at his door, David jolts from his bed where he was catching up on sleep that was taken because of the early rise this morning. "David, it's almost 4 pm. I've made a reservation at some Karaoke bar. I don't feel like anything fancy, so I convinced them to come!" Laura's reminder for their lunch plans.

David got up from where he was sleeping and put on his binder he discarded before his nap; a nap that turned into a long sleep, and got himself ready in the least fancy clothes that were okay for his public appearance with his parents, in David's case is as much black layering he could find. David walked out of his room, feeling deflated.

*****************

As they made their way to their table that was at the back of the "restaurant" area, everything on the menu was perfect for David, pub food that was affordable and not overly fancy with food he's never heard of. "The menu seems very lacklustre" his mum always one to complain and his dad so much like David didn't care as long as the food was in front of him.

"Mum! It's a pub/karaoke bar; it's simple and affordable!" Laura put a little more emphasis on 'AFFORDABLE'.

"Well if you both are struggling, we could've offered to pay", and there's a strike 2.

"Mum we are splitting the bill, plus we are doing fine! Remember I'm the one paying for my University bills and rent!" Laura exploded, she usually keeps her chill, but every time they (they meaning their mother) mentioned money, Laura has zero patience for the spill of 'we've got money, and you wanted independents, so you have to pay your way'.

The table was tense as the waitress came to greet them "what are we having, and would you like your drinks first or with your meal?" She was very polite, but David knew it was the 'I'm trying to get useful tips' kind of politeness.

"I'll have just the schnitzel with chips and salad" his dad piped looking like he just wanted to eat his food and leave. David, Laura and his mum all ordered and got their drinks for now, so they had something to distract from their encounter just a few moments ago.

When the drinks a arrived, his mother giving him a look when he ordered a beer, knowing full well he's an 18-year-old adult, but like she always does has to nitpick, strike 3.

He felt a nudge and looked at his dad; David looked more like his father while Laura looked like a combination of both, Laura had lighter skin and her hair wasn't as curly as David's. David didn't have hard feelings for his dad. Honestly, he felt sorry for him for having to deal with a wife that keeps him as a pet. Yes, he wasn't fully accepting but tried his best.

"Hey, kid" David sighed at his dad's nickname. "Sorry, David, I.. it's been a long day can't wait to just his meal, eat and leave" his dad was going back to normalcy, this time felt genuine like a conversation father and son would usually have.

"I feel you there dad, and it's ok to call me that, just keep it hushed" David winked with a smile, a smile he hasn't shown his dad in a long while. "Maybe if dinner takes its time we can have a beer at the bar" David added.

His dad returned the smile, once again a smile David hadn't seen for a long time. "I'd like that!"

David and his dad looked at the woman across the table, Laura looking somewhat calmer but still explaining everything that she's doing, their mother listening trying her best not to make any comment.

"Ahh David" his mother motioned towards him "-so how are you feeling living with Laura" David looked at his sister and could see that she also had a strike list pinned of her own, strike 4.

"I love it" he quipped not adding anything else!

He saw his mum wanted to add, but the food made its appearance at just the right time, David looked over to Laura and smile.

Silence fell, and they ate their food, David looked over to his dad devouring every spec, and his mum just slowly ate. Then the ball dropped; not a ball a fucking knife dropped. "Does anyone at your new school know about you and what you are?"

'What you are!' the sentence came out like acid, burning his ears, like him being born in the wrong body is something of a bad thing. Everyone at the table felt it and the clear clattering of utensils drop. "WHAT!" This time it was David who exploded, but this time it dropped like an acidic bomb, exploding with toxic waste. He felt eyes watch him from other tables.

"Why does that even matter mum?" Laura tried her best calm the situation, but David was steaming now strike 5, no, strike 1000 for the amount times in his entire life. This mother disrespected him, misjudged him, and worst of all called him something he's not.

"It doesn't fucking matter, why can't you get it through your head! I'm not what you made me, never was and never will be." David was steaming but still trying his best not to get everyone's attention in the very public setting they are currently at "-I'm a boy, no I am not like other boys but shouldn't that make me special not an outcast."

His mother had her fake; everything is okay here look on her face. "David I don't mean it like that, I just want to make sure that things don't repeat themselves."

David rolled his eyes "No it's not, and you know it" David looked around the table, his sister looked desperate to cut in or wrap her arms around David, his father look conflicted but scared to do anything wrong. "You act as if I've killed someone and unlike you, there are people who know who I am and they see me for exactly what I am" David got up from the table and handed Laura some money to pay for his half-eaten meal. 

David walked out, passing the bar that was getting pretty busy, he shoved himself past a boy standing at the door with messy blonde hair laughing with his friends. David wished he could take back some of his words, David usually didn't like being the centre of attention especially when in public; he didn't want to take back the words for fear of hurting someone else but the fear of these words coming back to haunt him, the fear of those words bring back memories and that's exactly what started to happen.

*****************

_–David was sitting across from the table, Christmas decorations scattered for their family Christmas party in a few days; all his family will be there, and David could feel his nerves speed up. Laura was sitting next to him focusing on her school work; Laura was on her final semester of Abitur, even with all the work she has to do; even though it's Christmas holidays, Laura still sat with him waiting for their parents to get home so they can talk._

_The time was ticking in slow motion as David processed what he was going to say, how he was going to say it, what they were going to say, all of these who, what, and why's playing mind games. The door finally opened or as David was more confronted, it was too early for them to be home. _

_"Hey, kiddo's" His dad called from the door._

_"We are not kids" Laura rolled her eyes and looked at David shuffling her chair closer "I am here for you, always, my little brother" she smiled whispering into Davids' ear._

_"So why we huddled at the kitchen table, are we having a family meeting?" Their mother joked, taking a seat across from David. 'It's good that there's a table barrier' David thought before he gulped._

_"I...ahh...I want to... I want to tell you something?" Both his parents were now sitting at the table, concern washed across their faces. "It's something important to me, and I just want you to know me, know who I am!"_

_"Sweetheart, we know you, we love you, tell us" His mother reached out her hand, but David couldn't take it for fear of her reaction._

_"I'm..." He couldn't do it; all those rehearsals in the mirror didn't help him._

_He felt Laura's hand be placed on his "just say it straight up, saying it straight forward will make it quicker" she was holding his hand now._

_David looked up from his and Laura's joint hands towards his parent's perplexed faces. He took a deep breath, exhaling shakily, 'just two words, say them straight' was his last thought before he said it._

_He watched his parent's faces turn from concerned too, confused to fear and then finally to anger. Laura didn't let go of Davids' hand stepping in to explain what everything meant and how she supported him; his parents, however, didn't feel the same. He heard his mother spit how him wearing "boys" clothes didn't make him a boy that he's confused that media and his friends have corrupted him. _

_David closed his eyes, his tears escaping, and he clenches them harder. He felt Laura pull him but the hand looking not furious but distraught. Laura pulls him out of their home, well what was his home, now it felt like a burdened place of fake personalities and pretending to be someone else. _

_Where they were was all a slow-paced blur, Laura's hand clutched to his as if it was glued. David closed his eyes once more as Laura pulls him to sit down, David crying into her shoulder Laura never letting him go_ _–_

*****************

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
